Birthday bitch in Gap sailor stripes tee, Topman grey jeans, F21 bracelets, Seed oversized bag and M&S boat shoes
Last week was MAJOR. I went through a huge transition and upgraded my status from a neurotic twenty-something man to a neurotic almost-thirty man. Gosh! I’ve never use the word ‘man’ to refer to myself before. It has always been ‘guy’; as in single guy, stupid guy, crazy guy and some other names that I have been identifying myself with. And almost-thirty because when you have ‘seven’ (or 'eight' and 'nine') in the second digit of your age, you know that the next decade of your existence is just around the corner. So I’m 27 this year. I hate growing old and all these wrinkles on my fore head. But can’t really blame age on that one, it’s the stupid fuck cancer sticks!
I don’t always have cakes on my birthday because it’s tacky and I am not a freaking four years old anymore. Also the fact that nobody looks good blowing candles in photos. Although they did buy us cakes with our names on it back at the office a few weeks ago, that doesn’t really count because I didn’t specifically request for the cakes and I had to share it with other colleagues who were born in July and August.
Anyway, I didn’t have cake this year and there were no real party going on except for a few different occasions when I hung out with my best-friends and we talked about growing old and still feeling the same way about ourselves.
As much as I hate the fact that I am almost three decades old, I feel truly blessed and happy. Not that my little life here in the city is perfect, but I feel okay for the first time in sooo many months. I don’t wanna shit all over it by writing about it here, but I am thankful with what life has given me so far. I am not rich or happily attached in a relationship or anything like that. It’s just that I have learned to accept the way this life works and how it can be full of crap, uncertainties and injustice but there’s also a beauty in it that most of us (including myself) have yet to uncover.
Like turning up late for a job interview, sleeping at home because you’re so bored and your friends are all busy living their lives, rain when you have your favorite pair of shoes on, getting to know someone who’s too good to be true just to realize later on that the person IS too good to be true and what about a potential friendship that ended too soon?
That’s life for you. Trust me.
But what about the reflection of streetlights when it rains at night? Your mother’s voice at the end of the line when you finally make that phone call home, the end of season sale, Starbucks barista who greets you by your name, a friend who keep you company the moment clock struck at 12 on your birthday?
I’ve lived these moments. I am 27. I’m not as young as I used to be, I’m not always happy and trusting towards others. But it’s okay. Just look around you because if you look close enough, everything is actually beautiful.
Song playing inside my head: Kylie's Everything Is Beautiful